When speaking of celebrating the day I fell from a cliff, I get mixed reviews. Some people think it is great, while others find it strange: Why celebrate something so tragic? For me, a life changing event with a positive outcome is well worth celebrating. October 16th is a day worth commemorating. Finding My Way From Paralysis To A Rich, Full Life ~ Nancy M. Turcich available at http://naturalmassagetherapy.com/books/.
Today is September 22nd, the anniversary of my eldest brother Ronny’s death. There is no celebration, but I honor his memory. It wasn’t always that way. As a matter of fact, September 22nd had been a day of utter sorrow, fiery anger, and a day of great disappointment; in life and myself. Much of that came from Ronny’s choice to leave this Earth and my inability to STOP him. Through writing and many years of suffering, I have found a way to be okay with Ronny and to hold him in a fair light. In time, I felt he moved on and maybe I should too. In One of Eight–my perspective on our brother’s suicide,* I share my struggles, my guilt, and my journals.
Anniversaries mark events in our lives that have made us who we are today. For seven years, my fall made the greatest impression upon my life. Then, in 1989, Ronny checked out and nothing would ever be the same. Words last spoken, times spent, moments when the reality of what transpired sunk in, all played in my mind along with what “should” have been said, done, and completed, haunted me.
The saying, a Monday morning quarterback comes to mind. After all, at the cliff, had I listened to Michael and chosen a new route to descend, everything may have been different. Had Ronny’s day on September 22, 1989 been a little different, maybe he would have chosen to stay.
I’m not naive enough to think that I control situations, but I do know that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. So, maybe, just maybe, I could have changed something by making a different choice.
For now, I am here, I am healthy and I am happy in my life. I hope Ronny found some peace and that he went on, somehow, someway. These anniversaries will be a part of my life for as long as they hold a space in my heart. And gratitude remains a part of it all. Both events took from me, but they also bestowed great treasures upon me. Would I change anything? Well, I’m certain that there would be different anniversaries to acknowledge. Be well… Nancy T
- Clown photo of Ronald Michael Turcich~ “One of Eight–my perspective on our brother’s suicide” is available on my website: http://naturalmassagetherapy.com/books/
- Go to http://naturalmassagetherapy.com/books/ to purchase your copy of “Finding My Way From Paralysis To A Rich, Full Life” by Nancy M. Turcich, NTS, BCPP. For a limited time, take advantage of a special offer (only available by email: email@example.com): $12.00 plus shipping and handling.
- eBooks are available on Amazon, iTunes, & Nook.
** 10 % of the proceeds from “Finding My Way From Paralysis To A Rich, Full Life” benefit the Christopher & Dana Reeves Foundation.