Recently, I was visiting with my friend Sarah. It was so sweet to spend time together. When Sarah inquired how I was, I offhandedly said, “I’m better now.”
Lovingly, Sarah asked about what was troubling me. Then she said, “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
I hesitated for a moment and then I filled Sarah in on what had been bothering me. With my tale weaving its way into the world, I realized that it no longer held the charge it once had. I spoke without breaking down. Sarah’s tears didn’t stop me because I knew that whatever I was saying, both of us needed to hear it. In that moment, I knew that healing had occurred. I thanked Sarah for giving me the option to share or not. Having a kind and receptive audience is truly a gift.
As we continued our conversation Sarah spoke of how great her life is at this time. After my narrative Sarah said, “Well, some people live for the drama. Without it they wouldn’t know how to go on.” While she was speaking, Sarah pointed to herself. I never pictured Sarah as a “Drama Queen” so her action surprised me. It also enlightened me. I realized that I am a “Trauma Queen.” In therapy sessions, I love helping people release trauma.* I wear that crown proudly.
Sarah spoke of her relationship. One statement really struck me, “I just don’t take ‘The Hook’.” When Sarah elaborated, I learned that what she meant was follow old patterns or get drawn into the drama. Presently, she is either silent or she simply let’s “The Hook” go by for another fish to grab.
“Brilliant,” I thought.
Much of the time we walk directly into our own misery. Every human being has hurt and we have hurt others. Families are grand masters at pushing each others buttons. Partners know just where to go to get a reaction out of their mate. Kids throw tantrums to achieve their goal. BUT, it is up to us to take “The Hook” or let it go by.
Being a Caribbean girl, I think of my friends in the sea often. After my conversation with Sarah, I visualized hooks just passing the fish and I by in the crystal blue water. In the salty sea, the fish and I swim peacefully knowing that there are better ways to sustain ourselves. After all, if we take “The Hook” we may be in for a ride that doesn’t end well. Let’s face it, even the fish have a choice. Be well… Nancy T.
For more information about Trauma Therapy and “Find Your Way” program please visit http://naturalmassagetherapy.com/fywtest.html#fulldescrip.